Gone or Yet to Come?
by TheWalrusWasPaul
Summary: Are the best times for Rogue and Gambit already gone? Or are they still yet to come? Romy
1. Here Without You

G'Day.

Yeah I know, I know I have other fics to work on, but I wanted to write this one damnit! Fear not, 'I Never Knew' is well in the works, and I know this'll shock all of you, but Beyond the Spandex chapter six is almost done! Yes that's right! I haven't left it to die, I'm gonna update it! Whoo! Go me! This one's a short one though. Five carefully mapped out chapters that I really hope you guys'll like. It's totally A/U, cause I don't care exactly what happened in the comics, and if it's not exactly right, too bloody bad. This is the way I wanna tell Gambit's return to the X-Men from Antarctica and that's what I'm gonna do! So there! Lol.

So here's chapter one, I hope you all forgive me for posting this instead of 'I Never Knew', this one'll hopefully go up real quick, so they'll be no long drawn out waits like usual. Well, enough out of me. Here's chapter one of _Gone or Yet to Come? _!

Gone or Yet to Come?

Rating: R... oops. Not again! Must wright something with a lower rating! ..or not.

By: TheWalrusWasPaul

Disclaimer: I own nothing, except everything

Chapter One: Here Without You

_ ~I'm here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind _

_ I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time _

_ I'm here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams _

_ but tonight girl it's only you and me~_

_ Here Without You, Three Doors Down_

He'd been gone for so long now. Left to die by the woman he loves more then anything else in the world. That's right, loves as in still loves. Even if she left him to die, it was nothing he didn't deserve, he had influenced her thoughts the moment she left him. What was left of his psyche in her mind telling her, begging her, to leave him to his fate. Her cold words were exactly what he wanted to hear, what he needed to hear.

His name was Remy LeBeau, Gambit the hated traitor to the X-Men and all they believed in. He had been the one to lead the Acolytes into the Morlock tunnels, had gathered the Acolytes, the whole massacre had been his fault. All his fault.

And now he would pay the price. 

Now he was stranded in the wastelands of the Antarctic, with very little hope of ever getting back home again. Home. Did he even have a home anymore? Rogue had told him he didn't and maybe she was right. He had never been honest with the X-Men and this is where it had landed him. Maybe he really did have no right to return to them. 

But bon Dieu, if he didn't go back for them, he wanted to go back for _her. _He loved her, would always love her.

His feet, beyond feeling, stumbled in the deep snow. He fell onto his face, what was the point in even going back to her? She was probably with Joseph now, happy in an honest relationship that Gambit could never give her. Joseph could touch her, could look her in the eyes without lying to her. Joseph could love her, would love her if Remy didn't get back home. He pulled himself to his feet, not knowing how much longer he could go on. The point in getting back to her, was that he loved her and he couldn't go on anymore without telling her that. Gambit needed to say it, and he vowed he would. Even if she hated him, he'd tell her. 

Gambit.

Somehow now the code name seemed more fitting then ever before. His entire life up to this point had been a gamble. He hadn't know how things would turn out for him when he joined the X-Men in the first place. He had joined them on the word of a little girl who wasn't so little now. Stormy had convinced him to stay, become a hero. He'd never been a hero before and becoming one had been a gamble. 

Falling in love had been a gamble, one he hadn't even intended on. He hadn't been looking to fall in love. He was happy being a lady killer, one woman after another. Never get attached, never stay the night it only lead to trouble. 

It had, but was it worth it? 

Oui.

If he knew one thing at this moment it was that falling in love had been worth it, was worth it. And if it killed him, he would see Rogue's face once more. Even if she told him to go to hell, it didn't matter, as long as he got to see her one last time.

His mind began to wander, to anywhere but where he was. The cold wind tearing at his face was unbearable, the tears following from his demon eyes were not all due to the cold. He could no longer feel his fingers. Hours ago, or was it days? He didn't know. He'd tried lighting up a cigarette, but hadn't been able to hold it. He'd watched in dismay as it fell from his numb fingers. Watched the little red light slowly go out in the snow, watched as it became covered in the blowing snow. Soon there was no trace of it, lost to the arctic snow. 

Just as he would be if he didn't find a way out of here soon. 

Had to find a way back to Rogue. 

They'd had one night together, as though God was looking down on them, knowing all the troubles they'd been through, all the pain and wanted to give them some happiness. Maybe it hadn't been God at all, maybe Satan had been laughing at them. Knowing what pain the morning would bring. Letting them experience some happiness before it was ripped from them. 

Wether it had been God or Satan, Remy didn't know and didn't care. He'd been grateful for at least one chance to show Rogue that he loved her. He'd never told her that. Never said the words. But that night, he'd shown her how much she'd meant to him. Those words had never come easy to him, he'd never told anyone, not Belle not anyone. Now though, with countless miles separating him and Rogue he knew, knew he loved her more then he'd ever loved any other living being.

He closed his eyes as he forced his tired legs to keep moving, and all he could see was her. All he could feel was how right it had felt when they made love. His hands never leaving her body, as though he feared it was a dream he would all too soon wake from. He remembered the way she had looked at him when he entered her, eyes shining with a trust he knew all too well would be shattered in the face of morning. He hadn't cared, nothing would have torn him away from her at that moment. 

_"Ah love you Remy." she whispered as he entered her, looking up at him with her green eyes that could affect him like nothing else. She cupped his cheek in her slender hand and smiled softly at him. _

_ He knew she had to be feeling some pain, but she didn't show it. Her love for him filled her eyes, and he felt tears begin to collect in his eyes at the intensity of her emotions. He didn't know if he'd ever be able to love her like she loved him, fully and completely. She would love him even in the face of morning. Would love him no matter what. _

_ He leaned down and kissed her softly, letting his tears fall on her without shame as she too began to cry. They stayed like that for a while, holding each other, not wanting to move. They cried together, knowing that this was the only time they'd get this chance._

_ "Chere, if dis be our one night," Remy whispered to her, his lips brushing hers as he spoke. "Best make it one not t'forget."_

_ She smiled at him and nodded her approval. They began to move together, he with all the skill of a master, she with the primal instincts of a virgin. It was world shaking, Remy had never felt this close to any woman he'd ever slept with. And that's all the others had been, sex. He'd thought he'd been making love to Belle, but he hadn't, not by a longshot. This, what he was doing with Rogue made the other times look pale and pathetic. _

_ She came, calling his name, telling him she loved him. He moaned her name as he relaxed on top of her, stroking her hair, never wanting to let her go._

But he had let go, and then the trial had started. 

Remy stumbled once more. He couldn't give up! He had to go back to her! Had to beg her forgiveness. He let a primal scream rip through him. He would not give up! 

The wind howled around him, but all he heard was Rogue's voice at different points in their relationship over the years. The night they'd spent on the roof, the basketball game, the picnic, the restaurant, Scott and Jean's wedding, the kiss in Israel, every moment leading up to here. Those years full of pain, happiness and sheer joy had been the best of his life and he'd be damned if he was about to give all that up because of this. He _would_ get back to her, to the X-Men and let them pass their judgement. 

Let her judge him.

Rogue.

Remy fell then, face down in the snow. He tried to force his tired arms to support him, but couldn't. His energy was gone. He couldn't move, couldn't breath any more. Then in the distance he saw something, or thought he did. Pink uniform, long red and white hair flowing behind her like a cape. He looked up and through his half closed eyes saw her smiling at him, a soft smile. She reached out one hand to him and over the terrible wind he heard her voice. 

"Come back to me sugah."

Remy reached one shaking arm towards her, "Rogue..."

Then his eyes closed and he knew no more. 

It was at that moment that a man passed his way by sheer chance. A man and a team of dogs, trying to cross the Antarctic. He saw the man in the snow, and pulled his team towards the fallen X-Man. The man ran towards Gambit and when he found much to his surprise that the man was alive, hauled his body onto his sled. Crossing the Antarctic could wait.

He turned his team back towards the camp where his friends and family were waiting in make shift shelters. And there, they cared for Gambit, not knowing or caring that he was a traitor. That he had no home, that his own family had left him to die. 

There Gambit regained his health and life. Through his recuperation he hardly spoke a word to anyone, when he thought he was alone however, the man and his friends would often hear him say one word, over and over again. 

"Rogue..."

~*~

And? What'd ya'll think? The part at the end is the way Ultimate X-Men 18 shows Gambit getting home, so I figured I'd go with it. Anyways, Review and let me know if you're all after my blood for starting another fic. I don't blame you if you are. Trust me, I'm out for my own blood. 

Review! (Please?)

See ya on the flip side,

TheWalrusWasPaul 


	2. The Lover After Me

  


G'Day, 

So I suck at updating, life has kept me busy, busy, busy. I'm sure you all know how it gets. So maybe real life's not an excuse, but that's my story and I'm sticking with it! Lol! But let's get to the shout outs!

Caliente: My god woman, you've been updating like there's no tomorrow! And sadly I haven't hade time to sit down and read them! But don't worry, I will, one day! Promise! Whoot! Anyways, yeah I realized that as soon as I read your message, lol, my bad right? Wrong group of bad guys. That's what I get for not proof reading. 

Millie: I hope you like this chapter as much as the last! 

Ishy: I know I know, more to work on and now I have less time then ever! But I try! Hope you like this chapter!

Jukebox: Thank ya kindly!

T.: So it's not soon, but I am writing more!

Remy's Ange: I have to admit, I have writer's block on 'I Never Knew.' Man I gotta come up with some better titles... but I'll do what I can! Glad you liked chapter one of this fic!

Miz Marval: So glad you liked it!

Raven09: Thanks! I've been working on my writing, so hopefully this chapter reflects that as well. 

Kyrsis: Thanks! Go find my other stuff! It's much fun!

Okay here we go! Chapter two of 'Gone or Yet to Come?' Man I really SUCK at titles... blah. 

Gone or Yet to Come?

Rating: R, once again I give up. I will never write something 'g' rated again. Damn.

By: TheWalrusWasPaul

Disclaimer: I own nothing, except everything...

Chapter Two: The Lover After Me

_~It's just that everywhere I go all the buildings_

_ know your name like photographs _

_ and memories of love_

_ Steel and granite reminders, _

_ The city calls your name and I can't move on~_

Savage Garden

~*~

Remy LeBeau stared at the gates between him and what had once been his home. Cold iron bars like a prison, though these were not keeping him in, rather they were keeping him out. Out of his home and out of her life. His eyes, in which a deep cold still lingered traced over the mansion. He knew every brick, every window and knew which one was hers. There. Just on the left. A light was on, but he couldn't see any movement from within. He had several options, the first, walk away. Leave the X-Men, make a new life for himself. It would be easiest, just vanish into the night as he had so many times before. But he couldn't do that. Part of him was here, in that room and if he was to leave, he wanted it back. Another option was to go to her window and beg forgiveness, plead and cry for her to take him back. The last was to walk right through the front doors as though nothing had happened. Resume his life as though they had not left him to end it. 

A sigh escaped his lips. 

All three options appealed to him, but he knew right away which one he would choose. It was always the same choice, it always came back to her. Shaking his head, Gambit leap over the fence and with a skill no other could match, dodged the mansion's security system. He jumped over sensors only he and the other X-Men knew where there. He ducked cameras invisible to the naked eye, and landed below her window. Reaching into his duster, Remy took out his bo and vaulted to the window ledge, balancing carefully as he peered into her room. 

There she was. 

Dressed in his oversized Zed Lepplin shirt, combing her hair at her vanity table. The shirt was a good sign he thought, she wouldn't wear his shirt if she hated him. Or was it just habit that she put it on? Rogue was a creature of habit if such a thing walked the earth, and he would not put it past her. She was alone, something Remy thanked God for, he wanted to talk to her alone. 

And so he waited.

When the lights finally went out, and she crawled into bed, Remy opened her window. He was saddened to find it locked. Rogue never locked her window, she knew that Remy had a nasty habit of trying to worm his way into her bed after he'd been drinking. And though she complained about it the next morning, saying she hadn't gotten a good night's sleep thanks to him, she never locked the window. But if nothing else, Remy was and always would be a master thief. Ever so carefully he picked the lock, being sure not to lose his balance and fall. He wasn't high up enough that the fall would kill him, but it would definitely hurt. A lot. 

Remy slid into the familiar room and carefully, silently, approached the sleeping woman He let his hungry eyes feast on her, let himself memorize her as she was at this moment. If she woke up and told him she hated him, he would accept it and move away. But always would he carry this image of her here, now. 

"Rogue." he said, his voice a hoarse whisper. He rested one gloved hand on her shoulder, careful of his exposed fingers. 

Rogue groaned in her sleep. "Remy Ah ain't sneekin' ya into yer room t'night. Ah'm tired." she said half asleep. She rolled over, away from him and pulled her blankets higher over her shoulders. 

Remy waited a minute for her words to register in her sleepy brain. He could count the seconds on his fingers, he knew how long it would take her to realize what was going on. He knew her too well. 

Rogue bolted up right in her bed, her emerald eyes wide, "Remy!" she exclaimed, covering her mouth with her hand as she saw him. She calmed herself and looked at him, her eyes filling with emotion, "Yer... yer alive?" she asked, not believing what she was seeing. 

"Rogue chere...." Remy said, it was all he could say. 

She looked him up and down, then reached a tentative hand out towards him. Remy knew to stand still, it wasn't often she tried to touch anyone. Any sudden movement would scare her off, it was like dealing with a wild animal he often thought. Her slender hand rested on his chest, and he sat on the edge of her bed, just looking at her as though he'd never seen her before this moment. 

"Ah don't believe it..."she whispered, her eyes filling with tears. "Remy... yer alive..." a sob escaped her and she threw her arms around his neck, not giving a damn if she touched him by accident, she needed to hug him, make sure this wasn't another nightmare. 

Remy closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around her, "I'm back chere." he said softly. 

Rogue held him forever, "Ah'm so sorry Remy..." she sobbed, "Ah never wanted.. Ah..." she couldn't say anything more, she didn't need to. 

"I know chere, I'm not angry with you, only myself." he said as he stroked her hair, noting the fact that it was much shorter then it had been in Antarctica, now it lay only a few inches below her shoulders. 

The moment was brought to a halt as the other X-Men burst in, Joseph in the front. "Rogue!" he called, worried about his lover. 

Rogue quickly released Gambit and turned to her team mates. "Ah'm alright." she said, not so sure. 

Joseph was at her side in a moment, holding her bare hand in his, a sight that made Remy want to kill the man before him. "What is he doing in here?" Joseph demanded, glaring at Gambit. 

"Happy t'see you too mon ami." Remy muttered as Storm approached him. 

"Remy." she said with a slight smile as she embraced him, a sight that made Rogue jealous. "I am happy to see you alive." she said in her calm voice as she held the man she considered her brother in every way but blood. 

He smiled at his friend as she pulled back. "No worries Stormy, takes a lot t' kill a Cajun."

"They're like cockroaches, jus' won't die." that was Logan, he had a half grin on his face and approached the Cajun, "Good to have you back Gumbo." he said as he placed a hand on Gambit's shoulder. 

Remy smiled, "Merci." he nodded to Logan and turned to the rest of the X-Men waiting to see what their reactions would be. 

Jubilee was on him in a split second, hugging him for all he was worth, muttering something about how she'd missed his damned sexy accent and nasty cigarettes. Shadowcat smiled warmly and hugged him, Peter nodded and welcomed him back. Cyke crossed his arms across his chest and said something about upping the security again. Jean hugged him and told him the mansion had been a little too quiet without him. Even Betsy and Warren were pleased to see him alive and well. In fact the only one who looked unhappy was Joseph. But Remy could handle that. 

The X-Men said their goodnights and left the room, leaving Joseph, Rogue and Gambit alone. Joseph glared daggers at Remy as he held Rogue close. Remy rolled his eyes, 'might as well pee on her.' he thought to himself as he turned his eyes once again to Rogue. She hadn't taken her eyes off him the entire time. Tears were still falling down her face as she watched him, still not fully believing he was real. 

"You've come back Gambit." Joseph said, "Now why not go to bed and let Rogue return to sleep." it wasn't a request, rather an order. 

"Mon ami, y'don't change." Remy nodded to Rogue and left the room, shooting her a look that meant they would talk later, without Joseph. Remy let the door close behind him, but not before he saw Joseph kiss Rogue. Something tightened in Remy's chest, and for a moment he was regretting coming back. 

~*~

The moon was high in the sky as Remy escaped the mansion later on that night. He couldn't sleep, images of Rogue and Joseph kept floating through his tired mind. He wandered the mansion's grounds and stopped beside one large tree, he closed his eyes in pain as he remembered the ill fated picnic he had shared with Rogue shortly after Bishop's arrival. With a sigh he leaned heavily against the tree, trying to keep from thinking about Rogue and the way she had looked that day. Remy was lost in his self pitying thoughts when something caught his eye. 

"Go away Stormy, I wan' be alone." he shot over his shoulder. 

Ororo shook her head, her long white hair fluttering in the warm wind, her hair combined with her long white night gown made her look like a fairy creature. The effect was not lost on Remy, but he decided to ignore it. "You should not be alone my friend." she said in her calm voice, ever calm, never excited, never sad, nor happy, always calm. Her powers held her as much captive as Rogue's did. She could never lose control of her emotions, but she could handle that. She had always looked to Rogue, and her problems had never seemed so bad in comparison to what Rogue when through on a daily bases. But now that Rogue had thrown Remy aside, given up her struggle with her powers and settled for the easy way out, Storm had to admit the admiration she had previously held for the southerner was shaken up a little. 

Remy pushed off the tree and walked away from Storm, "Why? 'Cause de woman I love left me for another man? Happens every day." he said, trying to make it seem as though it didn't bother him in the least. 

"You can delude the others, maybe even yourself Remy, but I know you better. You are hurting and need to talk about it with someone." Strom said as she move to stand behind Remy, she lay a hand on his shoulder, "She loves you yet Gambit."

"Has a funny way of showing it." he muttered without turning around, he didn't want his friend to see the pain on his face. 

"She was in pain, Joseph was there to comfort her. She doesn't love him." 

"You don' know dat anymore den I do." he said.

Storm shook her head, "Remy, she's loved you since the beginning, you two are meant to be. She will return to you."

"Maybe I don' want t'wait for her. Maybe I'm tired of dis pain me. I'll go out and find a femme I can touch." He said, hating the harshness of his own voice. 

"You could," Storm admitted, "But you won't, you love her, and she would never give up something as powerful as the love the two of you shared for something as fleeting as touch. People touch every day Remy, but it is rare that people fall in love."

Remy shut up, he didn't know what else to say. 

Ororo hugged her friend from behind, "Do not worry my friend, Rogue will come to her senses." She pulled away and gave Remy one last long look before returning to the mansion. 

Remy turned and watched her go, thinking about what she had said to him. He hated the position Rogue had left him in, making him wait for her to realize that she loved him and not Joseph. He knew he could never go out and find another woman, he loved Rogue and no one else. He sighed and turned his head upwards to stare at the moon.

"You lucky you be worth it chere... worth de pain, worth it all..." With that he turned and made his way back to bed.

~*~

It had been two months since Remy's return to the X-Men, and life was going on as it usually does. Rogue had confessed to Remy that her and Joseph were lovers and he had accepted that. But that didn't mean he was happy about it, quite the opposite in fact. He could hardly stand to be in the same room as the pair, whenever a 'tender' moment occurred between the two, Remy would leave. Where he went only he knew, and it would remain that way. The other X-Men saw Remy's pain, but he would not accept their sympathies. He had been the one who wanted to die in the snow, and he would accept that Rogue had moved on. 

Night after night, Remy would watch Rogue and Joseph ascend the stairs to her bed room, and every night the cord around Remy's heart would tighten a little. He didn't know how much more of this he could watch and retain his sanity. He was still hurting about the events of his trial, and now more then ever, he needed Rogue. Needed her to hold him, and tell him she loved him. Tell him that everything would be fine and that she was there for him. But since his return they had hardly spoken, yet another thing eating at Remy's heart. 

Remy walked through the mansion this night as he had every night since his return. He slept little, and when he did sleep it was haunted with images of Rogue and Joseph together. Nightmares the likes of which he had never known. He passed through the living room and lay a hand on the love seat. The seat that had once been known as his and Rogue's seat. He smiled sadly as he remembered all the times they had say together watching movie after movie, holding each other as best they could. He sighed horribly as one memory out of hundreds crossed his mind...

_Remy hated this movie, but it was Rogue's favorite, so for the up tenth time he endued Gone with the Wind, rolling his eyes at the cheesy lines. Whenever Rogue suggested this movie it meant she was lonely, not from missing him, but from missing his touch. That meant that whenever this movie played, Remy could get away with much more then he was allowed normally. Tonight was no exception. _

_ The other X-Men were no where to be found, for which Remy was thankful. He held Rogue close to him and slowly began to run his hands along her sides. She sighed and leaned into his touch, craving it, wanting more. Remy obeyed and his hands began to play at the hem of her shirt. Nights when they watched these movies, Remy knew to wear full gloves. Knew it from experience. _

_ Rogue closed her eyes briefly as Remy's fingers touched her stomach, the simplest of touches sending chills up her spine. She wrapped her arms more tightly around him, and tried to focus on the movie. _

_ Remy grinned to himself, if only the other X-Men could see them now, his hand up her shirt, tracing the under wire of her bra. _ _They all assumed that the couple did not engage in such activities thanks to Rogue's powers. Much the opposite. They were as human as the rest of the X-Men, and both had over active sex drives. Remy continued his ministrations until Rogue let out a soft moan and turned her eyes from the television. She ran one hand along the edge of his face, permission for him to go on. And he did just that. _

_ His free hand began to play with the tie holding up her sweat pants. He smiled to himself as he found that yet again she wore no underwear. She knew better after the last time when they had been torn, completely by 'accident' mind you, and tossed to the floor. Only to be found by Storm the next morning, who promptly disposed of them before the other X-Men could find them. _

_ The movie ended and the pair made a dash for Rogue's room to continue where they left off. It was their Saturday night ritual, one both enjoyed immensely._

Remy turned to leave the living room when he heard footsteps behind him. He turned to find Rogue standing there, looking from him to the love seat, a wistful smile on her face. "Ah miss those nights ya know." she commented. 

He nodded his agreement. "Moi aussi, but things dey change."

She sighed and moved to sit on the edge of the chair, "Ah never wanted them too, Ah was so sure you were dead Remy." She looked up at him, her face sad. "Ah wanted it to be you, but you were gone and Joseph was there...."

Remy held up a hand for her to stop. "Don' explain chere, you did what you had to do." he didn't want to say that, he wanted to demand answers, tell her to leave that ex bad guy loser and come back to him. The other ex bad guy loser. He wanted to take her in his arms and carry her back to her room and torment her like a man starved. But he didn't. 

"Ah'm glad you're back Remy." Rogue said as she traced her hand over the back of the love seat. "Ah'm just sorry y'had to come back to this."

Remy sighed, "Mais, that's life. I'll get over it." That was a lie, never for as long as he lived would he get over her. 

A flash of hurt crossed Rogue's face, but as quickly as it came, it left. "Ah gotta get back to bed before someone comes lookin' for me." she said as she rose to her feet.

Remy nodded, and watched her walk out of the room. Before she could leave completely he stopped her with a question, "Do you love him?" 

Rogue froze where she was, without turning around she replied, "Yes." with that she left and the most horrible feeling of loneliness over took Remy. Rogue quickly made her way back to her room and tried to hide the tears she was crying. She loved Joseph yes, but no were near as much as she loved Remy. But she could touch Joseph. She knew right away that it was no excuse, but for now it would have to do. She couldn't just up and leave Joseph because Remy had come back from the dead, she couldn't and she wouldn't. 

"Ah'm sorry Remy." she whispered into the night as she crawled back under the covers, careful not to wake Joseph. 

~*~

Wheee! Done and done! Next chapter ....... who knows when it'll be out, but I'll do my best to make it worth it. Go me. Review and let me know what you thought, tell me anyways that I can improve and yeah, whatever, I lost my train of thought. But yeah for another completed chapter! 

See ya on the flip side, 

TheWalrusWasPaul


End file.
